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Dear friends and loved ones

The world feels like it’s teetering on a ledge. We don’t know whether it will roll over, sending us into free fall, or if it will maintain its balance (and some sanity).

I’ve been tired and emotional this week, and I’m not the only one! Sometimes, we must pause and check in with ourselves—especially as time passes.

I blinked, and suddenly, it’s the end of May!

I'm not upset about the passage of time, but if I don't take a moment to pause, I can't fully comprehend how I'm feeling and what I need.

Not only that, I committed myself to checking in every month. This means reflecting and looking at what lessons I’ve learned about myself, and what goals I’ve achieved. And whether the lever of my dreams and aspirations is still moving in the right direction.

I learnt two important things I aim to work on

The first is, I’m hard on people that have made a mistake. My initial reaction is to question and (almost) blame instead of being empathetic. I’ve thought long and hard about this one. And it reflects on my own need for perfectionism.

Growing up, I only got recognition or words of encouragement when I had achieved something. Hence, the desire to be perfect. Because when you’re perfect, you get validated by other people.

Now, I know that I don’t have to remind you or myself, that we don’t need external validation, we are enough as we are. Even though we know this, things still come up. This is life, it’s a journey, one in which we will always be growing and learning. It never stops.

The second thing is controlling — time, actions etc — especially in the kitchen. There was an occasion recently when I was sitting in the kitchen, keeping my husband company while he cooked.

We have different methods of cooking.

Now!

I could feel myself wanting to say something. It was like a cough I was trying to suppress. I kept saying to myself, “Shut up, he has it under control.”

But.

My body was hijacked. I couldn’t stop it. The words steam rolled out of my mouth.

“Have you put the oven on? Are the potatoes in the air fryer? The vegetables look like they’re burning.”

I had a wonderful moment where I was aware of how controlling I was being. I was present and alert.

And quite distraught.

This is not who I desire to be.

***

Sometimes we need to take a break to catch our breath and ourselves.

I’m going to be completely honest with you.

All I want to do is plop myself in some sun with a do not disturb sign. Only enter with good news, light laughs, juicy gossip or special tea. Other than that, leave me be. Please.

I don’t always feel like working on myself. Yet I want to be the best version of me: not just for myself but for my husband, family and friends. Likewise, I know that when I do the work and take action, there’s a ripple effect of good energy that goes out into the world.

Because I’m learning to be a mature and responsible being, here’s what I’m asking myself today:

1. Am I living in a way that feels authentic to me?
2. What activities or people drain my energy, and how can I minimise them?
3. What brings me true joy and fulfilment?
4. Am I being honest with myself about my needs and desires?
5. What small steps can I take to align my actions with my values?

Sometimes, one of these questions helps me find the answer I need to realign with myself.

Remember—it’s never shameful to need realignment. Ever.

We get off balance because we’re human.

I guess that you’ve been taking care of everyone except yourself this month. So now, it’s your turn for a check-up. :)

I hope June moves the needle in the direction of your dreams :)

Blooming is a journey that is both forgiving and loving.

Be kind to yourself first.

With love and grace,

Lisa Marie